If you’re trying to call me and I’m not responding it is due to a dead phone, not because I don’t love you. If you’re not trying to call me and you don’t care if my phone is dead then you probably stopped reading this a sentence ago. I’m available through google chat and email.

My phone took a deep breath of the finest sea water that the Puget Sound could kick up yesterday, as I forgot it was in my coat pocket all day at PSSC. I did the Jordan trick where I keep the battery out of it all day and actually put it next to our dehumidifier but no luck. The last thing I want to do now is buy another phone. But “it is what it is” or so they say. What is “it”, anyway?

Answer: Disposable technology. I had an Eriksson cell phone a few years back that I washed several times and it always dried out and worked fine afterward. Perhaps the saltwater did a number on the trendy little RAZR, or maybe they just don’t make ’em like they used to.